Focus: The Key To Success
Unleash The Hidden You
By Ethan Hale
http://www.efhale.com
Welcome
Focus: Can it work for you?
Are you doing exactly what you want to do in your life today? Have you attained every
goal you ever set yourself? If you can answer yes to these questions, then this
book is probably not for you.
But wait! If you answered NO to these questions and your answers to the
following questions are still NO, then you NEED this book.
· Do you find it EASY to concentrate and focus 100% on the task in hand?
· Is it SIMPLE for you to exercise self-discipline when you need to?
· Are you CONFIDENT when talking with peers, partners or even your kids?
· Have you LEARNT how the art of focus, confidence and self-discipline changes lives?
· Can you look yourself in the mirror SMILING about everything you've accomplished so far?
· Have you ever found yourself stuck in a rut with the feeling that your life is going NOWHERE?
· Have you ever felt UNSURE about the steps you have taken, and continue to take in your life?
· Are you EXACTLY where you want to be in life right now? No?
Don’t worry, and don’t feel bad. There are lots of other people just like you. People who have no direction,
or they could possibly have a direction but just don’t know how to get there. I may just have the
answer for you today.
Everybody’s life has its ups and downs, but not everybody is aware that they can actually DO something
themselves to turn things around. Knowing how to focus, how to build up confidence and self-esteem, and
knowing when to exercise self-discipline are HUGE steps toward a better life for yourself and those around you.
Ok, let’s get down to why you are REALLY reading this book. Let’s look at focus, confidence and
self-discipline and see what we can do to make things work for you!
Focus
Focus is a scary word to most people. What can it do for us? How can it help us? Can we program
ourselves to focus? Focus, confidence and self-discipline all work hand in hand with each other.
Learning to focus can help us in many ways. It can help us realise what we really want in life, it can
help us make good and informed decisions. It can also help us to accept ourselves just the way we are,
without feeling the need to condemn ourselves or put ourselves down in any way, shape or form.
Focus can help us gain confidence, power and happiness. Focus can also help us remain grounded
and stay on track. Focus can change confusion into absolute knowledge and self-criticism into love for oneself.
Always be aware that you Are able to focus on what you want, and to focus your thoughts on anything at all.
Try it now by thinking about the dishes, now change your focus and think about your car. Switch focus again
and think about a dog. It really is that easy to focus on whatever you want to focus on.
We all need to learn to set aside time to be used on the one thing we want or need to focus on. It’s not a matter
of “taking the time” to focus, but more a matter of “making the time”. If we are willing to make the time, we will
focus a lot better on whatever it is you want/need to do.
You ask me how I can possibly make time to focus with four demanding children, 3 dogs and a new house?
Easy, I can stay up for an extra hour when all the kids are in bed and the house is quiet, and MAKE the time
to focus on what I’m doing with absolutely no distractions at all.
Oh, that’s right; you work too, so you’re too tired to stay up late. How about getting up half an hour early,
before the madness at home begins? Before you go to bed, get everything ready for your early morning
“focus time” so that you don’t have to run around looking for it when you’re half awake. Of course, this means
you have to have a plan of action ready beforehand.
Decide when you are going to make time, and stick to it like glue. Don’t let ANYTHING take you away
from that time. Make sure you have everything you need all in one place, a room, or even a corner of a
room where you can sit in peace. Unplug the phone, turn off the television, and don’t even listen to
quiet background music.
Whatever happens around you will distract you unless you learn how to focus. Sometimes it seems easier
to just go along with these distractions than to focus on the end goal. Remember, if you let yourself go
along with the distractions, you are losing sight of your goals. Sharpen your vision of what you want or
you WILL be at the mercy of your environment.
When you want something you have to decide EXACTLY what it is you want. If you don’t know what
you want, there’s no way on earth you’re going to be able to focus on it. So you want to pass that driving
test that you’ve taken and failed umpteen times, or you want to pass that really important exam in school.
You might want to write a book, or build a website, run your own business, be a teacher or any number of
different things. The main thing is you have to KNOW that’s what you want, and you have to set your
aims high and demand yourself to focus on getting it.
Once you decide what you want, you have to decide WHY you want it. Visualize yourself in that brand new
Harley Davidson, Mercedes or BMW, or in front of that school desk teaching the kids geography. The
vision makes you feel good right? So that’s why you want it, it feels good to do what you want to do, be
who you want to be and own what you want to own.
Visualization is a major part in being able to focus. If you can actually see yourself in the position you
want to be in, then it’s so much easier to focus on the task of getting there.
Next thing you have to do is decide how you’re going to actually get what you want. What are you
willing to sacrifice in the quest to get those great exam grades? What can you do without in order to
start up your own business? How can you make your family life happier and more peaceful?
Sit back and close your eyes, imagining what it will be like to have what you want in life, and think
long and hard about what you can give up so that you can get there.
Say you want a new sofa, but the only way you can get one is if you quit smoking. Envision the
sofa, with you and your partner cuddling up on it. What colour is it? Is it big and fluffed up, or is
it a small ultra-modern sofa? Focus on the sofa and want it badly enough, you WILL stop
smoking so you can get it.
These are all small things and perfectly attainable with a little bit of focus, but what if you
want bigger and better things than that? Well then you set goals for yourself. First overcome
the exams, once that goal is reached go get that driving licence. Next you get a brand
spanking new BMW.
Keep setting goals; as soon as you reach the first one, move on to the next, staying focused
all the time on what it is you want.
Reaching that first goal will give you an incredible boost of confidence, which in turn will
make it so much easier to get started on the next goal. The more goals you reach, the more
confidence you will have in yourself and that will fuel the success of the next goal, and the
next one after that, until there are endless possibilities for you.
Start off by writing down each and every goal you WANT to reach in your lifetime. Then
write a daily plan for the goal you want to reach first. Write the plan before you go to bed
at night, it gives your brain time to take it all in and work with it.
It’s amazing what the brain will do when we are sleeping. Also, writing the plan the night
before helps free up that time during the next day so that you can purely sit and focus
on the task at hand.
Make the plan a numbered list and cross each item off as you finish it. You’ll be amazed
at how quickly you get through it this way. Once you’ve reached the outcome you want,
move on to your next goal following the same pattern as before.
If you find your thoughts wandering in your “focus time” take a break, write down
your thoughts and put them away somewhere for future reference. If you find there
are multiple things you can do to attain your goals, figure out which of them is the
one most likely to help you get there quickest.
Put the others on hold, they may come in useful when you’re aiming for that next goal.
If you lock your focus, and stick with it for as long as you have to, you WILL succeed.
If you stick to one thing, one goal and focus on that, it's virtually impossible to not
reap the rewards of your actions.
Confidence
Before we start, please keep one thing in mind; Confidence and arrogance
are two totally different things. If you confuse the two, you will most
certainly become a very unhappy person with very few real friends.
Arrogance is NOT a “quality” and it won’t help you reach your goals any faster.
Confidence in oneself, or the lack thereof is what stops people from getting
tightly focused on what they want to achieve. That little voice telling them
they can't do something is their biggest UN-motivator. What can YOU
do to gain confidence?
25 tips toward boosting your confidence and self esteem.
1. Love Yourself:
This can take a bit of practice and looks really funny, but try it,
it works. When you wake up, give yourself a great big hug.
Do the same when it’s time for sleep.
You’ve heard this said a million times before: “How can you expect
others to love you if you don't love yourself?” It’s true. Practice
the morning and evening hugs for 2 weeks, maybe 3 weeks if
you're the stubborn type, and you’ll see how well it works.
2. Look in the mirror:
Every time you pass a mirror, look into it and flash your biggest
and best smile at yourself. It might feel strange at first, but
eventually it’ll make you feel brilliant about yourself. Tell
yourself “Looking good!” or “Wow, I love me!” or similar
phrases often enough to actually start believing it.
3. Do things that make you feel good:
This can be anything from listening to music, trekking in the
Andes, doing some volunteer work or even just taking a shower.
Anything that gives you a positive feeling about yourself works
for this one.
4. Listen to YOU:
Face it. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself, no matter
how many people try to tell you differently. So if your body, mind or
gut is telling you something, then take notice of it, and don't worry
about what other people may possibly have to say about it.
5. Talk to YOU:
In times of stress, take a time-out break. Wander into your own mind and have
a conversation with yourself about anything at all. Tell yourself how lucky
you are to be you, and praise yourself for every good and positive thing
you can attribute to yourself.
6. Remove negatives:
If anything feels like it’s dragging you down, get rid of it. If it’s clutter,
tidy up, if it’s a friend full of negativity explain nicely that you don’t
really feel up to talking right now. If it’s your kids acting up, leave the
room for a while and so on.
7. Surround with positives:
Surround yourself with things that bring out good feelings in you.
Examples could be things such as happy, upbeat friends, a nice new
picture, a new car, an old comfy blanket, candles, pictures of your
family, your girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse etc.
8. Rumours Die:
Did you hear something about somebody who said something
about somebody else? Drop it! Rumours are nasty, horrible things
that will only bring you down. Best way to kill a rumour? Ignore it!
9. Total Honesty:
Be totally honest with yourself at all times. If there’s something you
don't like, admit it. If there’s something you don’t want to do “right now”
and it isn’t necessary for health and safety reasons then just don’t do
it until you feel like it.
Same goes for the positive aspects. If there’s something you want to
do, and it’s not hurting anybody, then go ahead and do it. If you start
feeling great about yourself for no apparent reason admit it and
enjoy the feeling.
10. Responsibility
Take full responsibility for your own actions. Don't shove the blame
for anything over onto someone or something else. We all make
choices in our lives, and once we take responsibility for those choices
we tend to choose better for ourselves.
Once we start to choose better, we feel better and things start falling
into place. On the other hand, don't take over someone else’s responsibilities
just because you feel “you have to”.
11. Pretend:
If you feel unsafe, unsure or nervous then go inside yourself and pretend
you’re a hot-shot lawyer, actor, actress, singer or whatever you need to be.
Make believe you’re presenting yourself as that person would until you
feel better. Trust me, you WILL feel better, and eventually have no need
to be anything but yourself.
12. Keep Trying:
If you’re trying to do something but don't get it right first time round, then
try again, and again, and again, constantly learning from your mistakes until
you get it right. When you finally DO get it right, you’ll feel wonderful about it.
13. Credit where credit is due:
If you’ve done something really good, and people compliment you on it,
accept the compliments with thanks! Understand that they’re complimenting
because they really ARE impressed with what you’ve done.
Believe in you and give yourself a pat on the back. (Although physically it
would probably be easier to just give yourself a round of applause).
14. Stand Tall:
Standing up straight will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself than
slouching does. Stand with your feet slightly apart, suck in your tummy and
behind, broaden your shoulders and straighten your neck. It’s an amazingly
quick confidence boost.
15. Say Hello:
Make it a rule to say hi to at least one person you don't know EVERY day.
Give them the smile you flash at yourself in the mirror, the biggest and
best one you can find. They’ll smile back automatically, and they’ll walk
away with a little extra confidence boost thanks to you.
People look their best when they smile, and they also feel better by smiling
too! This ultimately means you get a confidence boost too, for making
someone else feel good about themselves.
16. Never Say Never....Ever:
If you think something can’t be done, then you'll end up proving yourself
right eventually. So never say never, just keep plugging along until it
works for you.
If other people are telling you it can’t be done, you're going to feel such
immense satisfaction at actually doing it that your confidence will soar.
17. Get Active:
Don't sit around the house just doing nothing. Get up, go out, cycling,
walking, exercising, anything that might invigorate your brain. A lively
brain full of thoughts will help you gain confidence.
18. “Happy Foods”:
Happy foods, such as chocolate, strawberries, lemons, ice-cream etc will
increase the serotonin levels in your brain, leading to an increased feeling
of happiness.
Feeling happy is a natural confidence boost. So go on, enjoy your food!
(in moderation, of course).
19. Face Your Fear:
Is there something you are afraid of? Face it full on. Doing something scary
and overcoming the fear is a fantastic way to boost your confidence. So go
on, jump out of that plane (with a parachute of course), drive that car, speak
in front of a large crowd, ask for a promotion, or whatever it is that scares you.
You'll feel absolutely brilliant once it’s done.
20. Willpower:
Create a goal that you really want to reach. Possibly something like weight loss
before a certain time, giving up smoking or having a certain amount of money
in the bank within so many months etc. Take baby steps, and use your
willpower until you succeed at reaching your goal.
It will be really hard, as will power can be very elusive at times, but keep
going and don't give up. Once you have reached that first goal by using
your willpower you will have the confidence to create new goals AND
reach them.
21. Ask questions:
Any time you find yourself worrying about something you haven’t done,
or something you think you should have done, ask yourself positive
questions. Instead of thinking “I’m terrible for missing my friend’s birthday”
think “What can I do to make my friend feel special?”
Or, instead of “Why can’t I ever seem to do things on time?” change it to
“What can I change to better manage my time” Creating positive questions
will release the negative energies which have a tendency to pull down your
self confidence.
22. Learn:
Accept that not everything works out the way we plan it. Decide to accept
any mistakes and rejections as part of a learning curve that we all need to
go through.
Without mistakes, you can’t learn from your own experiences. Remember,
experience builds confidence, so always learn as much as you can.
23. List:
Write a list of every single thing you're good at, anything from clipping the
dog’s toenails to putting up a shelf. Take the time to sit and actually think
about what you ARE good at and add them all to the list. You'll be surprised
at how many things you end up jotting down, no matter how minor or trivial
they may seem at the time.
Whenever you have a spare 5 minutes, or if you're feeling a little low,
take the list out of your pocket and read it. This is a great little way to
give yourself a nice confidence boost.
24: Help out:
There are lots of ways to help others, and feeling useful and helpful
are great ways of building your confidence. Just make sure you do
things because you WANT to do them. You could call a good friend
who may be down at the moment-even take them out for coffee, you
will brighten both your days, or you could possibly help out at a nursing
home or similar. Knowing that people appreciate your help will boost
your confidence for sure.
25: Show the way:
Think of the one thing you do best of all. Think long and hard about
this one. Thought of something? Now, find a discussion group or similar
related to that topic and spread your wisdom by answering questions,
offering advice or help to anybody needing it. If you can’t find a group,
you could even start one yourself.
People will look up to you and that will give you all the more reason to
feel confident about yourself.
Self-Discipline
To really be able to focus demands a lot of self-discipline. Remember that
your outcome depends on YOU, not on the world around you. If you want
something badly enough you WILL do everything in your power to get it.
Self-discipline in this context is basically only letting yourself do what you
WANT to do at that precise moment in time to be able to reach your goals
more quickly.
Remember that YOU are the boss of your actions. YOU are the one who is
in control. So ultimately YOU decide what and when to do things you need
to do to achieve your ultimate success.
Your ability to manage your actions is directly related to the level of success
and happiness you will experience throughout your life. Managing your
actions is commonly known as exercising self-discipline.
It's absolutely not about restricting your lifestyle, or punishing yourself. It's
about being able to work with your thoughts, behaviour and actions in order
to reach the goals that you wish to reach.
Not having self-discipline is one of the main reasons why we fail at what we
want to do, both professionally and personally. Excuse-making often creates
lack of self-discipline, so drop all your excuses and start keeping habits that
in themselves will create the self-discipline you need. Make routines that you
know you are capable of sticking to, and keep them.
How do you attain self-discipline? A few options could be regular exercise,
better, healthier eating, even learning to spend less money. It could be
something like deciding to learn something new every single day or just
getting up an hour earlier than you normally would.
Having self-discipline will help you to complete the most boring and mundane
of the tasks you are focusing on. Should you find yourself sitting and thinking
thoughts like “Oh, I’ll just do this instead” or “I can do that some other time”
when you are working on your goals then STOP, take a deep breath and
remember your self-discipline.
In Ending
The end of the story? You can do anything you want to do, be anything you want
to be and go where you want to go. All you need is confidence in yourself and
the ability to focus. I’ve now given you ideas on how to do that so go on;
Get out there and DO it!
"DESIRE MORE TO ACHIEVE MORE."
A motto to live by, in ALL aspects of life, quoted from Napoleon Hill’s book
"Think rich, grow rich".
About the Author
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E F Hale is a Certified Vocational Evaluator, Job Coach, and works as therapist full time.
He is the owner of efhale.com AND highperformanceconsultants.com and welcomes your input.
Please feel free to contact him at 405-820-5845 or email him.
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The information contained herein is not substitution for legal or medical advice.
This is for educational purposes only.
Copyright 2007 EF Hale.
